self doubt

I think that I am wasting my time here at JB.

I know it has only been three days,but I feel like I have spent one whole week here and there is no progress on the job search whatsoever.

There is just this hope...a hope that I might be granted an interview for that great job at across the causeway that have made me came all the way here...

This hope has got me hanging...no moving forward or backward...just plain wait...waiting for something to happen...waiting for time to passes by...waiting for the email or that call that would have made all these long waits worthwhile.

Damn this hope.

If there is ever a good time to have doubts about myself,this would be it.

I am here at JB with my extended family- my sister-in-law and her family...but still I feel all alone.It was worst than when I was backpacking in NZ.

I think that the peer pressure has got the better of me.Now I know that peer pressure hits all of us no matter how old we are.I am now feeling so low mainly because I am comparing myself with others,like those around me who have been working so hard when I was away,those who have came back with me but found jobs way faster than I do,and even those whom I have not met since convocation but yet they have got great jobs and seemingly great lives ahead of them (yea I stalked them on facebook)...

I know,I know...it's all on my mind.I am my own greatest enemy.

But I do feel like a loser for not securing a job,although it is only a little less than 2 months since I am back.(er hem)

It is just a transition,I am sure of it.After awhile I will laugh at this blog post and joke about it with my friends...but for now,I feel that I am at a low point of my life.

It's funny how I only feels like blogging when I am having all these negative feelings.I haven't blog for quite some time now since my last entry about leaving NZ,and now I am back posting two entries,only two days apart at each one.

Well,this IS a good place to rant.

Right,I feel better already,even just a little bit.

=)